The Apocalypse Twins (continued)
Part 2: The Stakes Become Clear
Welcome to the third issue of Sketchy Scoops!
Gossip, Hearsay, and Scuttlebutt
What We’re Trying to Pass as Reporting. Not Guaranteed to be Factually Accurate— or even true.
Becoming the Story
As the editor of this periodical, the last thing I want to do is to become a part of the story. The role of the reporter is to document the truth as they find it. I attempted to do that last week in my report about the Evil Twin who has assumed the life, roles, and responsibilities (and one would also think debts) of
. Unfortunately, during that report I made reference to the Goatee of Evil. It’s a variant on the Evil Twin theory and one that we have seen played out time and again in the media. Unfortunately, my report caught the attention of several groups who advocate for facial hair. They have contacted me to express their displeasure and to voice their outrage. There was some discussion in the home offices and I believe the matter has been settled because all future reports involving facial hair will be handled by our newest reporter… um, we’ll call him… I don’t know. Leave a comment with your suggestions for a name for this new ace reporter.
Incarnations of Immortality
When I was a young man, I read a series of books written by Piers Anthony. The series was called Incarnations of Immortality. The idea is that various natural forces are actually offices held by individuals. Death is not a result of cellular decay, accident, or malice. It’s an appointment you hold with an individual. The same applies to the other seven offices discussed throughout the series: Death, Fate, War, Nature, Time, and etc.
It’s an old idea, but I thought Anthony put a neat spin on it at the time and it helped me pass a few hours. I had completely forgotten about that series until Scoop sent me his most recent findings.
He suspects that the idea of these elemental forces being held by an individual is real. Whether their role in that office is temporary or eternal is not something that we will ever know, but he has reason to believe that he has stumbled onto at least one of these office holders. The discovery came while he was following up on leads about an organization he refers to as The Fixers.
During the course of that investigation, he stumbled upon evidence that one
may very well be the living embodiment of Karma. At present it is not known whether Sujan actively evaluates an individual’s dharma before delivering reward or punishment, but until more facts come to light, you may want to be on your best behavior should you encounter him in your day to day life.There are those who believe that an earlier incarnation of Sujan can be seen hiding in the shadows of this painting created by Ludwig Deutsch. If you have additional information about this theory, please contact us.
Some Personal News
For those of you who follow me on Notes, you have probably noticed that I’ve been very quiet over the past week. That’s because my wife and I are celebrating twenty-five years of marriage. We’ve been traveling all throughout New England. We’re doing lots of touristy and history-type stuff while we explore all of these northeastern states.
It also marked a completion of a personal goal of mine. As of today, I’ve visited all forty-eight of the continental United States. At various points in my life, I’ve driven cross-country several times as well as some out of the way excursions to places that interested me, but I’d never made it to the Northeast until this trip.
Maine was my last remaining state and I entered it earlier this evening. In fact, I’m writing these words from the Westin Hotel in Portland, Maine. Tomorrow, we’re going to on a cruise where we’re supposed to see some whales and after that, I am hoping to drive another two hours north to see Stephen Kings home in Bangor. If I am successful, I’ll post the obligatory picture of myself standing outside his gates on Notes.
So far we’ve visited and toured the House of Seven Gables which inspired Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book of the same name. We also toured the home in which he was born and saw his writing desk.
We also visited Mark Twain’s home which is so incredibly beautiful. I’ve never seen a more elaborately decorated home. Unfortunately, they don’t allow you to take photographs inside the house. So, the only ones I have are of the outside
.Then, we made a trip over to Rhode Island where we drove past H.P. Lovecraft’s home. It’s a private residence. There’s no museum dedicated to him or anything other than a do-it-yourself walking tour of locations referenced in his various stories.
Today, we toured the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, Mass. This was a really moving experience for me as Rockwell is one of my favorite illustrators. There were several moments when I found myself tearing up while standing in front of the actual paintings and seeing his brush strokes up close. I was genuinely surprised at how heavily he gessoed his paintings because they are so full of texture, but that smooths out and is largely lost in all of the photographs I’ve seen of his work. If you’re ever in the area, go see this tour.
In addition to all of the paintings, they’ve moved his studio on to the museum grounds. They restored everything exactly how it was when he passed in 1978. Right down to how his books were organized on the shelves. Seeing his actual easels and the paint brushes that he used… it was thrilling for me.
Scoop Reports: The Apocalypse Twins Part 2
John here:
When we last left Scoop he was being chased by a demon. Let’s see what happens next!
From the last issue:
“Someone… scratch that. Something tried to kill me.” I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw the specter leap from the overpass. With a bone-chilling grace it landed on a passing car. Then, it proceeded to leap from car to car in an effort to catch me.
“Father,” I said. “This shadow monster is following me and it’s catching up.”
“Scoop,” Father de Soto said, “you told me you were a protestant. That means you believe in God and in His Son Jesus, correct?”
“Yes, but what’s…”
“In the Bible every time they cast out demons they rebuked them in the name of Jesus. You have to do the same now, but you have to do it with faith in your heart.”
The demon leaped off of a passing Volvo and landed atop a recent model Ford Bronco. It’s claws skittered across the metallic roof as it sought purchase and prepared to leap once more to my van. Before I could react or even finish processing what the priest had told me, it leaped and crashed into my passenger window. The glass shattered and the van was full of the sound of rabid growls and the smell of brimstone. A shadowy arm reached in through the opening and swiped at the air as it tried to reach me. I planted myself against the driver side door and did my best to avoid the razor-like talons.
The father’s voice filled my hearing aides. He was shouting. “Rebuke him in the name of Christ!”
“Leave this place,” I began. “In the name of Christ, I command you to leave!”
The demon made a gibbering sound and snarled at me. I repeated the command and placed all of my hope in the priest’s words. It did nothing. The demon reached deeper into the van. One of his talons caught my arm and drew blood. Then, I remembered that the priest had said I had to have faith in Christ. So, I whispered a prayer that God would intervene and repeated the command. The demon dissipated like fog. Just faded away in a series of shadowy wisps. The only reminder of his presence was the smell of sulfur and the air rushing into through the broken window.
I took a steadying breath and told the priest that the demon was gone. “I’m on my way right now.”
I drove through the night. I pulled over at a truck stop outside of Omaha, Nebraska and slept for a couple of hours while I waited for the town to wake up. I hit up an auto parts store and asked about getting my window repaired, but all of them were going to need half a day to do it. One place told me they’d have to special order glass to fit my old van. So, I fixed it up myself with a few pieces of cardboard and copious amounts of heavy duty duct tape. It wasn’t pretty, but it kept the wind out. Well, mostly it kept the wind out.
From there, I drove straight through to a place called Burley, Idaho. I slept in the parking lot of a Walmart and had a decent enough meal at a steakhouse right on the Snake River. I caught another hour of shuteye and then tackled the last leg of the trip.
Several hours later, I was looking Father de Soto in the eye. He welcomed me into a small room with thickly upholstered chairs. He offered to get me coffee, but I was all business. “What’s the deal? How is the world going to end and what do you want me to do about it?”
“There’s a prophecy,” the priest began. “It talks about the events right before the seven seals are broken. The church has kept this secret for centuries and we’ve watched.”
“What’s the prophecy about?”
“It talks about twins divided. More importantly, it speaks about the danger to the world should they ever be reunited. You see, if these twins ever begin to work together it will trigger the apocalypse. Just like John the Baptist was the forerunner of Christ, these two women are prophesied to make the world ready for the moment when the seals will be broken and judgment will begin. Scoop, we need you to stop their collaboration.”
“I’m going to need more information if you want me to do anything. Who are they? How do you know that they have started to work together?”
“At present there are no signs that they are working together, but they have met one another on social media. So, it’s only a matter of time before one of them suggests teaming up, then, they will learn their true identities, and who knows how things will escalate from there?”
“Give me some names, padre.”
“Both women have very similar names. It was a decision made by their parents. The names are very close, but the spellings have been altered. For the life of me, I can’t understand why they didn’t take more precautions. One of the girls should have been taken to a different continent, but no. They are both in North America. One girl is named
and the other is See? Both of them are named Read, but the spellings have been changed. The one who goes by S.E. has been called Sarah, but we believe she is currently going by Sally. These girls were separated at birth and provisions were to have been made to ensure that they stayed apart, but now, they are openly talking to one another on the same newsletter service you use. This place called Substack. Here. Look at this note posted just now:You have to stop them, Scoop! You have to stop them!”
S.E Reid writes:
Shaina Read writes:
John here:
This e-mail is already over the size-limits for e-mail. For that reason, I’ll have to delay the conclusion until next week. I hope you’ll all come back then to see how it’s all resolved.
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A Note from the Editor
Thanks for reading. I appreciate all of the excitement and encouragement you folks have expressed and sent my way. If you know someone who would enjoy Sketchy Scoops, please tell them about the newsletter. Until next week remember the Citizen Journalist’s creed: If you see something, say something.
“...not known whether Sujan actively evaluates an individual’s dharma before delivering reward or punishment...”
“If you have additional information about this theory, please contact us.”
Keep the former in mind while attempting the latter, that’s all I’ll say. Don’t want to find out the hard way, do we, eh?
Happy anniversary man!!! 25 years is incredible!