The End
Wrapping Up Sketchy Scoops
Welcome to the twenty-first issue of Sketchy Scoops! Your number one source for the most spurious content on the internet.
Thank you for Reading.
It’s been quite a journey over the past several months. I’m grateful to the hundreds of people who have followed this story and for the ones who show up week after week. This is the final story installment for Sketchy Scoops. I think we’ve given him a meaningful ending and I hope you enjoy it.
There are new things coming, but before we get into all of that, please enjoy this final installment.
This is part of a story arc. If you’ve missed the previous episodes, you can start from the beginning of this arc here:
Scoop Reports: The End
“Scoop? Scoop?”
The darkness around me faded as I came to. Something had changed. My left arm felt different. I looked up to see Lykos and several others crowded around where I lay. The concern and care on their faces was obvious. What had happened? I’d been moved. That much was clear because we were no longer by the Tegenweft river.
We were in a what looked like a hotel room. Had they taken me to a Motel Six? That was ridiculous, but here I lay in a bed with soft light coming from a lamp on the bedside table.
“I think he’s back,” someone said off to my left.
I looked over to see who had spoken, but everything was too blurry to make out any meaningful details. I blinked my eyes several times and was surprised to see Aranblaze, the Hellbender, perched on my shoulder right above where I’d been bandaged. Right above where my left arm should be...
Suddenly, it all came back. The battle on the beach, the watermancers and their floating bombs, Aelin’s mad dash across the shore leading his men into battle, the desperate attack that I’d led on the ship by carrying Aranblaze and all of the salamanders close so they could burn it down. And then, feeling the bolt slam into my shoulder. That was when I’d passed out.
“What happened?” I asked.
“We blew up the bloody ship,” Aranblaze said. “There wasn’t anything left but a sooty stain on the waters.”
“After the ship was gone it was an easy matter to round up the few stragglers who had managed to survive up to that point. We took the necessary measures to ensure that they didn’t spread word of our actions to the Council and we evacuated you to the safety of the inn. For all of Aranblaze’s bluster, he personally oversaw your care and made sure that you received the best treatment.”
“Ah…” Aranblaze began. “I had to take care of him. He’s an honorary member of the Smoke Eaters now. I treated him the same that I’d treat any of my soldiers.”
“No. I mean what happened to my arm? Where is my arm?” I heard the rising panic in my voice, but I didn’t care.
“It was the bolt, lad,” Aranblaze said. He’d dipped it in poison. We did everything we could to save your arm, but eventually it was a choice of your arm or your life. I’m the one who made the call.”
I was shocked by the change in Aranblaze’s demeanor. He was no longer the gruff and caustic Hellbender I’d met on the beach. Now, he was showing actual deference and accepting blame for a decision that offered no good choices. Before I could say anything a small voice from the back spoke up. I wasn’t certain, but I thought it might have been the salamander Cindertail.
I couldn’t see who spoke, but I heard the words just fine. He said, “Tell him, Lykos.”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
“It’s over. All of it. We won.” Lykos was overcome with emotion and stopped speaking for a moment, but that voice in the back urged him to continue.
He looked down at me and smiled widely. “I’m not just talking about the battle at Brynstead. I’m talking about the council as well. They have been removed from office and the people are free once more.”
I looked from Lykos to the Hellbender. I needed more information. Finally, I asked. “What… what do you mean? How is the council gone?”
“Do you remember when we Kaleh1, serving in her role as Cassandra, revealed the trickery that Shelly was trying to pull on all of us? We captured Shelly and replaced her with a shapeshifter of our own. That replacement has been faithfully serving at and with the council this entire time, gathering information, and passing it back to us to inform us of any weaknesses or opportunities where we might act. Shortly after news of our victory at Brynstead made its way to the council, it was decided that we had to move. And so, Malik led a contingent of soldiers deep into the council chambers and thanks to the intelligence that had been gathered we were able to depose the entire council chambers in one swift maneuver. They are no longer in power. Not a single soldier was lost during the operation and we have set up an advisory council to consider the best way to establish an equitable form of government for Aberlyn, but, Scoop, I want you to know that we all recognize the bravery and quick thinking you portrayed on the battlefield. All of this would have had a very different ending if it hadn’t been for you. If that ship had not been destroyed, we would have lost the battle and word would have made it back to the council more quickly which would have given them more time to prepare. We celebrate today because of the sacrifice you made back then. We are forever in your debt.”
That was six months ago. I’m still not entirely used to only having the single arm, but I have learned to manage. I’ve sold my van and am making a new life. I work with Bessie in her antique shop. I think Scoop might be dead. Not me, but the part of my life where people knew me primarily as a reporter. With the passing of each day it feels a little more natural for people to refer to me as Sam.
I have a home now. It’s on a hillside in Fenwick overlooking the Cherry River that I love. Pepperoni rolls are a lot easier to get now and I’ve turned my focus onto adding new and unusual products for Bessie’s store. We’ve developed quite the economic trade between Aberlyn and the surface world. Turns out products made by elves, dwarves, and other creatures are quite popular with tourists and locals. Of course, we don’t admit their origin. If you stop by the shop you’ll see a fine selection of products created by local artisans. There’s no need to disclose that the artisans in question happen to be what many people consider to be a mythological creature.
Will I ever go back to journalism? It’s possible. I can never resist a good story, but for now, I’m going to focus on exploring this new life and seeing what the world here has in store for me. Who knows what the future will hold?
A Note from the Editor
Next week, we’ll talk about what’s next for Sketchy Scoops and what it means to both paid and free subscribers.
Here’s a direct link to the story referenced above:
Hard to think this basically started as a bunch of meta substack shitposting before developing its own narrative. It's been great to follow along with.
Excellent journey. Fabulous writing and brilliant imagination.